Adult-Onset Competition Disorder

MUSINGS FROM A COACH - 25 FEBRUARY '26

I read somewhere (I cannot remember where, so sorry to the author!) a phrase that got my attention recently: Adult-Onset Competition Disorder. This made me laugh at loud! Yes, I will gladly attach my definition to this phrase as I believe I was once afflicted with this disorder (well, for like 45 years of my life).

Adult-Onset Competition Disorder - An affliction that a person gets when "competing against others" rules their life. Symptoms may include irrational fear of loosing, perception that everyone is a competitive threat, a feeling that everyone else cares about their winning, an unnecessary aggression towards others and just a perception that this person can be a jerk when competing (which is generally all the time).

First of all, I am a huge believer in the power of competition - competition against others and ourselves. Nothing motives us to work harder, study more or be consistent in doing hard things than competitive spirit. So competition is a good thing! But if it takes over your entire lease on life, it becomes exceedingly bad.

Examples:

Athlete A. She's a super competitive person and thrives off of competition. When training with her competition, she pushes harder than she would by herself. She doesn't like to loose. But she also loves to share and learn and recognizes the joy she gets from her competitive friends. She understands that many things outside of her control often affect the outcomes at competitions. She is able to compete hard at an event, loose, and still be supportive and friendly to her competition. She truly has a great sense of gratitude for being able to do what she does.

Athlete B. He's also a hyper-competitive person and loves training with others. But instead of sharing training thoughts and plans, he's constantly guarding against anyone else from knowing what "he's really doing". Fear of losing and jealousy of others permeates his thoughts. He looks at many of his friends as threats. He isn't as interested in learning from others as he is in beating others. He ultimately is constantly competing and has an inner dialogue going 24/7 on why he is, or should be, better than everyone else.

Athlete B, often seen at the highest levels of sport, is quite honestly, toxic. This athlete becomes a bad teammate and spreads a silent cancer throughout the culture of a group or team.

And Athlete A is a person who fosters growth, not just for herself, but also for those around her. She creates and feeds a culture of healthy competition, learning and shared joy of success.

I was more of an "Athlete B" for most of my life. It helped me rise to the top of everything I did (with the notable exception of academics...). But it came at a cost at times. I feel like I missed out in the joy of others' successes. I've always considered myself a great teammate, but maybe I wasn't that great after all?

And what caused me to change to Athlete A? I honestly don't know. Most likely, great friends in my athletic and work world. I wanted to be like them and changed. But it took many years for me to understand all this.

What's interesting about the phrase Adult-Onset Competition Disorder is that after thinking about it, I became very aware that I saw less of it during this Winter Olympics than in all previous Olympics before. I saw competitors congratulating the victors with genuine appreciation and compassion. There was a true sense of gratitude for being there and competing at the highest level on the world stage.

I've often said that a well-balanced and happy elite athlete is someone who's always striving to balance these two opposing attitudes: DRIVE and GRATITUDE. I think the 'Athlete A's' of the world do this.

And one final thought: This 100% translates over to the "work world". :)  

Gratefully,

Mark

CEO Team MPI